Why dinner dates are the worst first dates and some alternatives

A messy dinner date choice
A messy choice

Unless it’s love at first sight, which is an obscure and rare thing anyway, don’t go out to eat on your first date. Here’s why:

  1. There is so much pressure to choose the ‘right’ restaurant, price range, type of cuisine, ambiance and outfit.
  2. If you have to wait for your table, you face the possibility of many awkward silences with nothing to do but stare at each other or drink at the bar.
  3. Speaking of drinking, you run into the chance of drinking excessively which can lead to uninhibited or irresponsible decisions with this ‘stranger.’
  4. Your brain is constantly reaching into its darkest depths to dust off various components of proper dinner table etiquette.
  5. If you have gaps in your teeth, you can’t order anything with garnishes or spinach unless you succumb to windshield wiping your teeth with your tongue every minute.
  6. You are forced to sit upright and stare straight ahead; otherwise, you’re considered fidgety or rude.
  7. You risk severe boredom from having to answer the mundane questions people ask you everyday.
  8. Going to the bathroom is no longer a relief – it’s a ticking clock to remind you how long you’ve been gone and you’re forced to check yourself out in the mirror, leading to self-over-analysis.
  9. What if your date’s food is better than yours or vice versa? You can endure the stomach-ache, send it back and be that person, or go hungry and be irritable or judged as wasteful.
  10. Restaurant food is loaded with sugar, oil, cream and salt. The food coma sets in, and you suddenly need to go lie down, alone or with new company.
  11. Sometimes, it’s not always clear who is paying, and the countdown leading to the check ‘drop off’ is painful.

Honestly, the list could go on. I am a huge advocate of choosing a date scenario where you can be mobile (so you can sprint away in the opposite direction if necessary,) where you are vulnerable to clumsy yet cute and laughable moments and where you can get your adrenaline going so you can feel and be your ‘best’ you.

Some alternative first date ideas:

  1. A live show, comedy act or concert (you can always meet a bit before to chat.)
  2. A bike ride
  3. A museum exhibit
  4. An arboretum or garden
  5. An arcade room
  6. A bowling alley
  7. A picnic
  8. A cafe where you can play cards or a board game
  9. A hike or other physical activity

The bottom line is think outside-of-the-box and get creative. You may even get brownie points for your creativity. There’s so much more room for honest, humorous, playful and relaxing dating in our stress-driven lives. Break rules and boundaries. This is especially relevant with online dating. You’ve already begun an online conversation; so, take advantage of being in person and use gestures, expressions and movement to communicate your personality. Happy dating!!

As a disclaimer, always be safe 😉


One thought on “Why dinner dates are the worst first dates and some alternatives

  1. Haha love it. A bowling alley is a fun first date idea! But I once went on a hike as a first date and it was terrible… I was huffing and puffing and trying to have a conversation while not showing how horribly out of shape I was. (Then at the top a guy was proposing to his girlfriend which made for an awkward moment for us haha)


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